Red Roses and Random Realisations

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As I’m typing this, I’ve comfortably settled into my second year of university, and for the first time in my academic life I can say that I’m truly happy and content with where I am in life. This is all a huge contrast to my first year blues which were coupled with a few tantrums, lots of confusion and maaaaaaaybe one breakdown (or two) although I tried to pretend everything was fine. BUT one thing I’ve realised this past year is that it’s okay to be down and confused; as long as you understand that there is always something better around the corner and that there’s no need to dwell on situations that add nothing to you. 

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I think another thing that’s making this academic year a much better one so far is my acceptance of my body and all that comes with it. On that note, is there such a thing as happy weight? Because I’ve most definitely gone a size up (or did I just squeeze myself into smaller clothes?) but I’m also definitely happier.

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This dress was originally bought for a friends birthday party and I didn’t like it at first because I thought it made me seem frumpy. However, thinking like that is the same thing is allowing a dress to wear you and your emotions rather than YOU wearing the dress. I hope that even makes sense. 

I especially love the roses because they just add that extra something to contrast my skin tone and I also love how I managed to unknowlingly** tap into both the moments floral motifs and red had in the fashion world in the past few months.

**Unknowingly because it was honestly a panic purchase!

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Back to the random realisations note, as I was thinking about what to write on this post, I remembered a few things that I’ve realised this past year/summer (which fits into the time period when these photographs were taken):

  1. That I should go after everything I want to do without fear*
  2. *That I let fear stop me from accomplishing things/ putting myself and my ideas out there as much as I should; because I’m scared of rejection.
  3. Family is everything.
  4. “Though sorrows may last for the night, joy comes in the morning”.
  5. My hobbies need to be honed into skills so I can make a living off what I love to do and that I really really don’t want a 9-5 job, even if it means stability, I want to feel happy EVERYDAY I GO INTO WORK.
  6. Showing affection is okay/ talking about my feelings is okay- both don’t make me a weak person.
  7. Life is literally what you make it; focus on the bad things and you will develop a cynical outlook on life, focus on the good things and you will begin to see the beauty in everything.
  8. Something along the lines of the Woody Allen quote: “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans”.
  9. That I have a lot to work on within me and there’s no shame in admitting that I’m not perfect (nor will I ever be).
  10. It’s okay to slow down sometimes and just take in my sorroundings; both literally and figuratively. 

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Writing this post has been the most therapeutic thing I’ve done in a while and I urge EVERYONE to be honest with themselves once in a while because it refines you.

Stay refined!

eh

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