As I’m typing this, I’ve comfortably settled into my second year of university, and for the first time in my academic life I can say that I’m truly happy and content with where I am in life. This is all a huge contrast to my first year blues which were coupled with a few tantrums, lots of confusion and maaaaaaaybe one breakdown (or two) although I tried to pretend everything was fine. BUT one thing I’ve realised this past year is that it’s okay to be down and confused; as long as you understand that there is always something better around the corner and that there’s no need to dwell on situations that add nothing to you.
I think another thing that’s making this academic year a much better one so far is my acceptance of my body and all that comes with it. On that note, is there such a thing as happy weight? Because I’ve most definitely gone a size up (or did I just squeeze myself into smaller clothes?) but I’m also definitely happier.
This dress was originally bought for a friends birthday party and I didn’t like it at first because I thought it made me seem frumpy. However, thinking like that is the same thing is allowing a dress to wear you and your emotions rather than YOU wearing the dress. I hope that even makes sense.
I especially love the roses because they just add that extra something to contrast my skin tone and I also love how I managed to unknowlingly** tap into both the moments floral motifs and red had in the fashion world in the past few months.
**Unknowingly because it was honestly a panic purchase!
Back to the random realisations note, as I was thinking about what to write on this post, I remembered a few things that I’ve realised this past year/summer (which fits into the time period when these photographs were taken):
- That I should go after everything I want to do without fear*
- *That I let fear stop me from accomplishing things/ putting myself and my ideas out there as much as I should; because I’m scared of rejection.
- Family is everything.
- “Though sorrows may last for the night, joy comes in the morning”.
- My hobbies need to be honed into skills so I can make a living off what I love to do and that I really really don’t want a 9-5 job, even if it means stability, I want to feel happy EVERYDAY I GO INTO WORK.
- Showing affection is okay/ talking about my feelings is okay- both don’t make me a weak person.
- Life is literally what you make it; focus on the bad things and you will develop a cynical outlook on life, focus on the good things and you will begin to see the beauty in everything.
- Something along the lines of the Woody Allen quote: “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him about your plans”.
- That I have a lot to work on within me and there’s no shame in admitting that I’m not perfect (nor will I ever be).
- It’s okay to slow down sometimes and just take in my sorroundings; both literally and figuratively.
Writing this post has been the most therapeutic thing I’ve done in a while and I urge EVERYONE to be honest with themselves once in a while because it refines you.